…This
is for Michan ^___^ *hug* Nee… this is my first eng fic for you… so hard to
translate it ^^;; please don't feel dizzy with my baka stupid eng nee.. Not
have grammar at all...*sigh...and this fic so short and baka story... gomen
nee^^;;;; but I want to give it for you.. *Hughug* Love you ne!
***
"KAORUUUUUUU!"
"I'm here don't be afraid" Kaoru hold his lover tightly his
palm stroke Toshiya's hair softly…
"I'm so scared…that person…he came...Kaoru don’t leave me
alone" Toshiya beg his voice so confusing he grab Kaoru's hand tightly.
The tear rolling downs his pale cheeks…
"I'll be there and I'll not leave you alone anymore…I'm so sorry
Totchi if I stay with you… you'll not be like this…" Kaoru sigh and hold
Toshiya in to his arms…
"No one can hurt you anymore Totchi…I promise…"
***
He
fall asleep in my arms again… It's the third times of Tonight. When I hold his
trembling body feel like my heart break into pieces I know… It so hard to
forget…Those wicked memory…
"NOOOO! Don't coming…Kaoru help me!" Toshiya screamed out
"Shut up! If you don't want to be hurt!" The stranger roar at
him before cruelly snatch his white shirt off…
"NOOOOOO!"
***
You
weren't there when I was scared… I was so alone...
I'm
starting to trip…I'm losing my grip…And I'm in this thing alone...
***
The
first time I see him lay naked on the floor… As if my heart stop breathing...
But the worser is… When I heard everything from him…
"Nee time to sleep…you should rest…Totchi…every bad thing is
over…" Kaoru pulled the blanket up to cover his lover...
"Including…you and me?"
"What did you said Totchi?" Kaoru hold Toshiya softly but
Toshiya push him away…
"Look at me Kao! I've nothing except my body...I lose my virginity
to someone…so, from now on you'll stay with me for what?" His tears roll
down as he try to compile his voice. Kaoru feel hurt as if his heart stabbed by
the sharp sword…
"However…I'm still love you and I don’t care anything"
"You don't care? Someone raped me! Do you understand the word
"RAPE"? … So, you still love me? Don't pretend Kaoru! It's your
fault!" Toshiya throw a pillow to Kaoru's face…
"I know you be angry and hate me…maybe you'll not forgive
me...Totchi I know it's my fault if I'm not leave you alone you'll..."
"Stop! I want to be alone…" Toshiya spoke before turn away
from him and muffle his body with the warm white blanket…
***
I'm
driving away from here...This house…It'll be the bad memory for my lover and me
…
"We'll begin our new life here nee…Totchi…"
***
Every
time I try to make you smile…You're always feeling sorry for yourself…
Every
time I try to make you laugh...You thing you're loveless...
Is
that too much that I'm asking for? …
***
After
that day I never see his smile…Only thing that I can see is his painfully eyes
that always look at me like I'm a stranger...Sometime he looks through me like
I'm invisible…
"Time to breakfast..." He spoke smiling at his koi before put
the little white plate that full of pasta in front of Toshiya…
"Tasty?" Kaoru ask as Toshiya spoon the pasta into his mouth.
But the answer that Kaoru got is…the cool eyes of Toshiya that throw the fork
away...
"Err...If you don’t like it I'll go to make new dish for you?"
Kaoru hurry goes to the kitchen...
"What do you want to eat? Em…salad? Or soup…cereal…or..."
"Stop!" Toshiya suddenly run away
"Totchi!"
***
Please
stop...Darling...your cool eyes…please stop looking at me with your those
eyes...
I run
after him to the sea...the cold breeze blew against my face...but why...I feel
like the warm water drop rolling down my cheeks? Why? …
"Stop coming!" Toshiya yell at him and try to walk deeper into
the sea
"What're you doing Totchi? It's dangerous!" Kaoru warn and try
to follow his koi...
"Don't follow me! Let me go my way Kaoru..."
"If your way is go to the deep sea, I can't let you go koi...but if
you really want to go I'll go with you" Kaoru smile at his lover...
"Why you still so good to me…although you've a lot of good guys
around you…why?"
"Cause, I only want you..." Kaoru grab Toshiya's wrist
tightly…cause he fare that his lover will go away from him again…
"I...I'm worthless...I'm unsuitable with you..." Toshiya sobs
"Why?…Cause you didn't virgin?...listen to me nee
Totchi...however…in my eyes you always be my treasure..." Kaoru surround
Toshiya's waist in to his arms...
"Give me one more chance…let me do everything for you…let me erase
all of your pain from your heart and let me wipe all of your tears out from
your face...?" After Kaoru begged he pull one of Toshiya's hand up and
kiss it softly... Toshiya nod and look at him with tearfully...
"If you don't mind... Give me kiss? To be confirm?" Toshiya
blush as he asks. Kaoru said nothing... just kiss...softly kiss... Blissfully
fill into their hearts... Kaoru draw his koi's waist when the softly kiss turn
to passionate... The both men dive into the deep blue sea... The little air
bubbles spin up to the water surface at the same time as the lover come back to
bring the fresh air into their lungs again...
"Begin new life...Totchi" After Kaoru spoke he dive in the sea
again...
"Kaoru!" Toshiya suddenly cry out his koi name...but Kaoru
didn't answer…he just nod to him…just few minutes he come back with something
in his hand...It's look like a red pebble...
"Coral?" Toshiya look at a little pebble in Kaoru's hand and
speak its name softly…he not sure it's name coral…?
"Yes! Coral…heard that it can relieve the worsening…it'll protect
you…" Kaoru gentle looks into his koi's eyes
"I love you Totchi..."
"I love you too..."
***
It
won't be too late when the smoke clears...
Cause
I'm still here...
***
Today
I can see my lover smile and laugh again...The first time after that bad thing
happened with him. I didn't know how to tell that how much happiness and
blissfully my heart have... I hold his hand all the time when we float in the
deep blue sea... I'm so glad he believe in me and let me lead the way… I don't
want anything at all ... For my life ... Just my Toshiya is enough…
***
End.
Gomen ne…If this baka fic make you feel dizzy and headache with my baka
eng…^^;;;;;; I'm so baka to write this for you…gomen gomen^^;; .. I love you
nee *hughug* please take care! ^__^