Title: Cough Medicine
Author: LX
Email: liquidx@alphalink.com.au
Archive/Mirror: yep, onegai shimasu ^_^;;;
Band: Dir en grey
Guest: Ryuichi, Sugizo & Luna-chan
Genre: attempted humour, hysteria, ooc, fluff,
I-saw-something-on-TV-and-thought-it'd-make-a-funny-fic.
Comments: This one is for you, Mi-chan!!! The original idea was inspired from watching an episode of "Dr. Katz". ^^;;;; C&C plz, I'm trying to be funny without bringing the entire J-Rocker community into this like I usually do. O_o;;;

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COUGH MEDICINE
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        "Totchi, daijobuka??" Concerned, Kaoru shrugged off his guitar strap and set the black guitar aside on a chair and hastened to his bassist and koi's side. :) Toshiya nodded and coughed several times. "I've just got *cough* a tickle in my throat. I think I'll be okay after a drink *hack* of water or something."
"Can somebody get him a glass of water?" Kaoru asked.
"I'll go," Shinya volunteered.
"I'll go with him," Die said and quickly followed the drummer into the little kitchenette of the studio. "What are we going to do if Totchi coughs up a lung?" Kyo asked with a morbid grin. Toshiya giggled and coughed, while Kaoru just glared at him. "Oh SNORE!!!" said Kyo and went outside to smoke.

"You know, it feels *cough* like there's a feather in your throat and you *cough* just can't cough it out so it keeps on itching..." Totchi coughed hard several times. "Mi--mizu...!!!!" Kaoru patted him on the back. "Hey guys, where's that water I asked for??!!" "Coming!!" came Die's voice, sounding a little frantic. Within a few minutes, Die and Shinya emerged from the kitchen with a glass of water, both of them looking a little... hmm... messed up. :P "Thanks..." Kaoru said between clenched teeth, glaring at the duo as he handed the glass to Totchi. ~_~;;;; "You're welcome!!" Die said in an 'ohoho!' kind of way. "Toshiya, I bet your coughing has something to do with all that smoking!!!" Shinya yelled as Die dragged him away to some secluded area of the studio to do 'stuff'.

Totchi sculled the water as quickly as he could, slammed the glass down onto the table and coughed some more, so hard it made his eyes water. Kaoru freaked out. "TOSHIYA I THINK YOU MUST BE MORTALLY ILL!!!! COME, WE'VE GOT TO TAKE YOU TO SEE A DOCTOR RIGHT NOW!!!!" "I-I don't think it's quite that dras—" "YOUR LIFE IS IN MY HANDS AND I WON'T LET YOU SLIP THROUGH!!!!!!" Kaoru screamed, hauling the blue-haired bassist out of the studio and cramming him into his car.

Toshiya: O_o;;; *cough*hack*cough*
Kaoru: @_@ *driving like a madman*
Toshiya: KAO-KAO!!!!! O_O
Kaoru: WHAT!!!!
Toshiya: CAR!!!!! >_<
Kaoru: *swerve*
Toshiya: BIKE!!!!! T_T
Kaoru: *zoom*
Toshiya: TREE!!!!! X_X

* * * *
                     OUTSIDE DOCTOR'S CLINIC

        Totchi still couldn't stop coughing... or shaking. "K-Kaoru... you drive... scares me..."
"You should watch what you say!!!" Kaoru protested. "I thought you would've heard it when I screamed out 'A TRUCK, SEE??'!!!"
"Well to me it sounded like you said 'AH FUCK M—' uh, never mind!!!" O_O
"Hentai no Kaoru!!!" Totchi giggled. "Wanna?"
"TOTCHI!!!!!" Kaoru shrieked. "NOT UNTIL YOU'RE ALL BETTER!!!!! Now be a
GOOD boy and come with me to the pharmacy so we can get you some medicine."
He squinted at the prescription. "Ah hell, nobody can read a doctor's
handwriting anyway!"

* * * *

                             PHARMACY

        Kaoru slammed the little slip of paper on the counter in front of
the attendant. "HI!!! WE NEED THIS TO HEAL MY KOIBITO!!!!!"

Store attendant: O_O eep! *explodes*
Kaoru: >_<

"May I help you, okyaku-sama?" another store attendant asked pleasantly.
"I WANT THIS!!!!" Kaoru demanded, jabbing a hole in the prescription slip
with his finger.
The attendant peered at the slip of paper, nodded, and disappeared beneath
the counter. Kaoru ground his teeth, thinking she was going to explode like
the previous girl, but then she reappeared holding a small glass bottle.
"This is an extra-strength cough medicine, which is why you can only
purchase it with a prescription and not over the counter. Follow the
directions carefully — exactly ten drops of this medicine in a glass of
water, every six hours, until the bottle is finished."
"Great!!!" Kaoru exclaimed. "Totchi, you'll be healed!!!"
The attendant smiled. "Isn't it lovely? Now that'll be 150,000 yen."
Totchi's jaw dropped. "That's highway robbery!!!!! Kao-Kao, DON'T BUY IT!!!!!"
"Nonsense!!! I'll do anything to have you all better, Totchi!!" Kaoru said
cheerfully and handed the attendant a big wad of cash. [ooh, he even pays
for it in cash!! —LX]

* * * *

                            THE STUDIO

        For once Kyo was awake and happily playing with his scorpions,
giggling like a little schoolboy. Die was sitting at Shinya's drums, and
Shinya was sitting in his lap. =P Meanwhile, Kaoru sauntered up behind
Totchi on the couch. "Has Totchi been a good boy and taken his first dose of
medicine??"
Totchi sniffed and nodded miserably.
Seeing his koi so unhappy, Kaoru's heart plummeted. "WHAT'S WRONG??!!! Does
the medicine have a nasty taste?? Does Totchi want Kao-Kao to go and get
some lollies for him??"
Totchi shook his head, coughed and sniffled. "No... but..."
"WHAT IS IT???!!!!" Kaoru hollered, freaking out and looking utterly mortified.
The blue-haired bassist held up the tiny bottle and pointed at the label.
"See? See here? It says... KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."

Suddenly the main door to the studio slammed open.
"Hellooo minnaaa..." Sugizo said in a husky voice.
"Shut up Sugi." Ryu said, looking rather harried and no wonder — Sugi had
made him piggyback Luna. "It's not nice to talk like that with children around."
"Oh don't worry!! She's used to it!!!" Sugi said offhandedly.
"USED TO IT????"

Toshiya looked up to see the two ex-Luna Sea members and Luna, and his eyes
widened. He grabbed onto Kaoru's sleeve as tightly as he could.
Luna laughed and kicked her legs, wanting to get down. Ryu gritted his teeth
and let her slide down, rubbing his hips where she had kicked him. He
worried about any possible bruising that might occur. Meanwhile the little
girl trotted across the studio, giggling.
"Tou-chan tou-chan!!!" she cried, pointing at Kyo. "Kawaii warumono!!!"
"KAWAIIII??????" Kyo roared. Ryu looked horrified but Sugi seemed amused
when Kyo grabbed Luna by the collar of her little dress and hurled her
across the room.
"Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!" she yelled, laughing.
"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Toshiya shrieked, diving out of the way.
"TOTCHI, WHAT'S WRONG!!!!!!!" Kaoru screamed.
Toshiya howled. "The bottle said to keep away from children, so that's what
I'm doing!!!!!!"

=====================================

Okay that was weird!! The ending is a bit abrupt but I decided to leave the

punchline short and sweet. There we are, Mi-chan!! I finally wrote it! ^_^

--LX--