...for Rika, Clare and Maharet...
***
A slight smile graced Toshiya's lips, he lay on his side with Kaoru nestled against him. Kaoru fitted perfectly under Toshiya's chin, his breath warm and soft against Toshiya's neck. Softly Toshiya ran his fingers down Kaoru's smooth bare back, loving the feel of his lovers skin under his fingers, loving the way they lay silently...
Kaoru's breath was steady and even, and his body was unmoving, just pressed against Toshiya's... Those small hips pressed against Toshiya's and their ankles matching perfectly... Kaoru's hands just rested lightly on the small of his back, just above the rise of Toshiya's butt...
So many thoughts and strange fragments of ideas floated around in Toshiya's heads, disjointed words that he felt like saying, but didn't want to shatter that peaceful feeling which surrounded them... Toshiya knew the way Kaoru held him, and the way Kaoru felt in his arms that he had almost drifted of to sleep.
Toshiya sighed and slowly slid one hand down the curve of Kaoru's back, following the line of vertebrae and then stopping at the small of his back... He smiled wondering how they would appear from above, like two sleeping but matching perfect angels. Surely they were holding each other in the same manner, with half lidded eyes, lying like exhausted lovers after their passionate union...
But in the midst of all that feeling in Toshiya of how perfect they were for each other, was that storm of questions he wanted answering... He waited, waiting for as long as he could before he destroyed the serenity seemingly surrounding them...
Toshiya fidgeted a little, and as if Kaoru was his identical twin Kaoru mimicked Toshiya's fidgeting... Only however to move his hips back into place with Toshiya's and get rid of the painful hip that dug into his stomach painfully.
"Ne..." Toshiya softly break the silence, "ne Kao why are you with me?" he spoke softly as though his words were soft sweet kind words and not this question. Kaoru was melded against him; Toshiya could feel the subtle shifting of Kaoru's body as the question surprised him. Kaoru made a move to wriggle free of Toshiya's hold so he could see Toshiya's face. Was Toshiya being serious or teasing?
Toshiya held Kaoru's body tighter, not letting him wriggle free... Kaoru's breaths grew uneven now, which somehow comforted Toshiya, he knew Kaoru was thinking and wondering where this question came from... Kaoru never rushed into answering questions, but he thought carefully about them, which usually drove Toshiya insane. Somehow it was refreshingly perfect for the moment, as Toshiya didn't want a rushed answer.
Finally Kaoru offered, "Well...why do you think?" Kaoru paused taking a deep breath, "I love you..." Kaoru trailed of, wrapping his arms tighter around Toshiya's figure and Toshiya was silent, just waiting for Kaoru to continue speaking.
"I know love isn't a good enough answer, but it is true..." Toshiya smiled, knowing that Kaoru was smiling too; he could hear it in Kaoru's voice... Gently Kaoru traced a spiralling pattern on Toshiya's back... "I don't want to say something sappy and sweet ne Totchi, but ah..." Kaoru paused again; his finger paused in the spiralling pattern too.
Toshiya grinned, Kaoru was surely blushing, and he knew all of Kaoru's expressions by the sound of his voice... Kaoru took a deep breath, "...ah you know you make me all stupidly sappy..." Kaoru whispered, "When I see you walk into a room, my heart stops beating and I feel all shaky... Remember when you first joined the band? I was all strange with you, one moment I was horrible, nasty and cold to you... But other times I was softer on you than Die, Shinya or Kyo..."
"Mm...yeh..."
"I knew there was something...different with you... You made me feel like I never felt before...and it was unnerving... I didn't know how to treat you or be around you..." Kaoru sighed, "I was so surprised by the feelings you made me feel...I thought it was wrong...to feel that way ne..."
Toshiya sighed gently, stroking his hands soothingly down and up Kaoru's back... Kaoru relaxed in Toshiya's arms before he started to speak again... "I was so lost, confused and I felt so alone... I felt stuck, hollow and all alone...I thought that what I felt no one else felt..."
Gently Kaoru leaned forward and laid a gentle kiss against Toshiya's neck, sighing happily, "But you were there Toshiya... You were there right from the start, but I was too stupid to see it..." Toshiya shut his eyes and smiled, he could feel Kaoru's chest pressed against his, and the movement of their chests seemed to match...
"One day I woke and something felt different, and when I went to the studio, it was as if I was seeing through new eyes... Everything was strange, wonderful and new...so fresh... And then you walked in, you were on a mission, I remember that day so well. It’s etched on my mind, I'll never forget it ne. You came up to me and said you needed to talk to me..."
Toshiya laughed, "ah I'll always remember that day too..." he sighed and wrapped his fingers in Kaoru's hair. "Do you know how my heart pounded in my chest, I was certain I was going to have a heart attack... And we went and sat outside ne, it was so beautiful. We talked of such trivial things, the colour of the sky and the way the clouds moved... But I knew you were really talking about me, and you knew I was really talking about you..."
"I knew then that it was right, and that hollow part of me became filled with feelings of joy... I was no longer alone...and the word love somehow didn't seem so empty or like a lie anymore..."
A sense of relief filled Toshiya, he'd never asked Kaoru about this before, and he had always assumed it. But now it was confirmed, it was true... Unable to help himself he clutched Kaoru tightly in his arms, holding him so tight as though Toshiya thought he would somehow vanish...
"That was such a strange day ne... I was so happy after that, and I always treated you well. And it was only a couple of days later, wasn't it?" Kaoru paused but Toshiya didn't speak, "only a couple days later and I said those words, I told you I loved you without using the sky and clouds as a cover..." Kaoru sighed happily, "You kissed me... I thought I'd been taken straight to heaven when I felt your lips against mine..."
Kaoru gently wriggled free of Toshiya's arms, moving away so he could look into Toshiya's eyes, "I'm with you because I love you... I belong in your arms, I belong with you..." he sighed looking a little downcast, "does that make sense to you? Do you know what I mean Totchi?" Kaoru spoke quietly worried Toshiya wouldn't believe him because he was so silent and still.
Toshiya didn't answer, he just stared into Kaoru's eyes and then said, "Come here..." he spread his arms out meaning for Kaoru to go between them. As Kaoru did Toshiya wrapped his arms tight around Kaoru resting his chin on Kaoru's shoulder.
"I feel the exact same way you do..." One of Toshiya's arms rested around Kaoru's waist, the other slipping lower so his hand could cup Kaoru's smooth butt. "I asked you that question because I was curious if it was just me feeling all those things... But as I thought, hoped you feel the same as me..." Toshiya kissed Kaoru's shoulder once, and then again and again...
"Mmm... Totchi... I love the way you make me feel..." Kaoru moaned smirking, one hand slipping between their bodies to where Toshiya's desire was. "I love the way you fill me with happiness, and make me feel so sweet and content just to lie for hours holding you. But then..." he paused wrapping his hand around Toshiya's hardening length...
"You make me want to throw you to the ground and fuck you senseless... It is such a perfect contrast..." Kaoru smiled hearing Toshiya's slight gasp as Kaoru's hand gripped him tight, stroking him softly... "You arouse me so easily..." he pushed Toshiya back, leaning up to tangle their lips together and lose themselves in those kisses...
Toshiya's fingers tangled around Kaoru's hair, holding him against his lips, and kissing him passionately... Kaoru squeezed Toshiya's tip gently his own ache pressing ardently against Toshiya's thigh... Panting Toshiya pulled away looking into Kaoru's eyes, his red lips parted and his eyes filled with desire and need...
Stroking Toshiya's erection he leaned down lapping against Toshiya's nipples lightly... Licking across from left to right and then right back to left... Kaoru smiled his lips encircling one of Toshiya's nipples... Toshiya moaned as Kaoru's hand stroked his ache harder. Toshiya was starting to feel the build of pleasure inside his body and blood, intense feelings that flooded him and knocked everything out of his head but that hand, that hand stroking him....
Toshiya groaned as Kaoru pulled his lips away leaning up to kiss Toshiya again... His slipped his hand away, giving Toshiya's tip a little squeeze, ignoring the pants and moans Toshiya gave. He pushed him onto his back, parting his legs and raising them so his feet rested on the bed... Toshiya whimpered and blinked at Kaoru, feeling so revealed but needing to feel Kaoru against him...or even better in him.
Kaoru could feel his heart pounding in his chest; Toshiya was so beautiful, so gorgeous... Lying there so perfect, all revealed to him, he had to take deep breaths to control himself, to keep calm, there was a ache in his chest, he wanted Toshiya...
Kaoru sat between Toshiya's legs, their eyes locked, slowly Kaoru moved, so that he lay on top of Toshiya... He shut his eyes momentarily, trying to be strong and not hurt Toshiya... He wanted him so badly, and feeling Toshiya's body, waiting and wanting to be taken by him was almost too much to bear...
His hand shook as he raised a hand towards Toshiya's mouth, gasping as Toshiya's warm moist mouth took them in deep, Kaoru felt himself getting even harder... Softly Toshiya suckled on the fingers before Kaoru regretfully pulled them away...
Kaoru's eyes were half lidded as he reached down between Toshiya's legs, both men moaning softly, as Kaoru's moist fingers brushed his entrance, one finger slipping into the tightness...
"Kao..." Toshiya whispered just holding back his pants as Kaoru slid his finger in as far as he could, thrusting it slowly but deliberately... Toshiya gasped as Kaoru touched that place, his back arching of the bed... "Mmm...Kao..." he whispered between his moans...
Quickly Kaoru slipped the other finger in, thrusting until Toshiya's moans filled the room and Kaoru couldn't stand it any longer... Toshiya bit down on his lip as Kaoru took his fingers away...he reached over to the bedside table grabbing lube and quickly applying it to himself...
"Hayaku..." Toshiya moaned, he gasped as he felt Kaoru's tip at his entrance... Toshiya braced himself as Kaoru impaled Toshiya on him... Unable to stand it any longer Toshiya raised his legs and wrapped them around Kaoru's body, pushing in him deeper... Toshiya moaned wrapping his arms around Kaoru...
Toshiya was so warm around him, Kaoru bit down on his lip and then started to thrust slowly, Toshiya was still sore from earlier... Toshiya's lips covered his as they moved together, moans lost in their deep kisses... Toshiya threw his head back as Kaoru thrusted against that place, his blood was going to explode, he writhed against Kaoru as the pleasure only grew and grew...
Kaoru was lost in the depths of Toshiya, thrusting deeper and deeper until he was about to explode into a myriad of glittering fragments... The only thought in Kaoru's head was Toshiya, his moans only bringing Kaoru closer to paradise...
White shots of pleasure blinded Toshiya's sight as Kaoru thrusted against him, the shots were getting larger and larger he could feel his body sinking into slow motion, everything was white, such a blissful white, and Kaoru was there, deep inside him... It was too much, crying out as he came...
Kaoru gasped he was dying, he was dying the little death... He thrusted one last time before he disintegrated into a myriad of fragments... He collapsed eyes shut on Toshiya, gasping as Toshiya's hands stroked his back... Kaoru smiled slowly wrapping his arms around Toshiya too... They were stuck together; Toshiya's lips came and claimed Kaoru's lips...
Slowly Toshiya unwrapped his legs from around Kaoru, and with a sigh Kaoru separated their bodies... He lay down on his back next to Toshiya, reaching out to take Toshiya's hand... They lay there panting and looking up at the ceiling, not wanting to think about moving...
"Mm... Kao I love you..." Toshiya squeezed Kaoru's hand, "can we just lie here..." he sighed... too lazy to get up and take a shower or bath... Knowing that in a little while he would turn onto his side, and Kaoru would creep over to him... Kaoru would then snuggle against Toshiya's body, his head resting below Toshiya's chin...
"I love you too..." Kaoru whispered back...he too didn't want to shower...not yet anyways... He shut his eyes softly, and when Toshiya's hand slipped away he smiled turning to lie on his side as he moved towards Toshiya. Toshiya's arms took Kaoru in and they lay matched again, their slender chests pressed against each other... Toshiya smiled as well, wrapping his arms around Kaoru as he felt Kaoru press his hips against Toshiya's...
"Mmm..." Kaoru whispered, his breath warm and soothing against Toshiya's neck, Kaoru leaned in and gave his neck a little kiss... Toshiya smiled and just held Kaoru tight, knowing that soon Kaoru would asleep and that he wouldn't be long to follow...
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O.o *hides* oooh noughty michan. writing lemons in class again! O.o;;;;; *blush* so scary^^;; but waa I couldn't help myself after reading paxnirvana's fic series "possession" *hentai michan* ^_^;;;;;
ne clare can you beta it? ^^;;;;;